I Don't Hug
How are we receiving others into our local bodies of Christ? Kindly, friendly, welcoming? How are we respecting each other...
Do nothing out of rivalry or vanity; but, in humility, regard each other as better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3, CJB).
Be respectful to all — keep loving the brotherhood, fearing God and honoring the emperor (1 Peter 2:17, CJB).
...Established members, visitors, seekers, and new members? With Christ-like Welcome? Or, if you aren’t related to one of our clans then we don’t recognize you? If you speak with an accent, aren’t in my political arena, new to this city/state, or look different, then you are on your own and alone. How on earth can we bring visitors or new converts into our worship with these attitudes?
Beloved friends, let us love one another; because love is from God; and everyone who loves has God as his Father and knows God. Those who do not love, do not know God; because God is love. (1 John 4:7,8, CJB)
I love the heading of this article, and I was absolutely laughing as I wrote it. However, it’s true. I don’t hug. I don’t like to be touched by people, except as I get to know them. I shake hands. So, what does this have to do with the body of Christ and reaching others? Well, a lot. Toi told me, “Be honest. Tell people that you don’t hug. Believers will respect that and love you for who you are.” Uh...no. I have received genuine anger from “Christians” because I don’t hug. Really!? It’s very unwelcoming when you are disrespected for your idiosyncrasies. The only exception to this was when I lived in Russia. They not only give you an insane bear hug when you meet, but they also kiss. They kiss each cheek and then sometimes repeat. They also kiss directly on the mouth. Men to men and women to women. Yep. The women will also brush your chest while they talk to you (it’s to show empathy). I used to carry my Bible in front of my body while talking. Toi would turn her head when they would try to kiss her on the lips. It took a lot for me to get through each greeting, but I did it because we were trying to show them the love of Christ through acceptance. Praise God we don’t have those traditions!
This brought to mind: John 12:3,4 and 5:
Miryam took a whole pint of pure oil of spikenard, which is very expensive, poured it on Yeshua’s feet and wiped his feet with her hair, so that the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of the talmidim, Y’hudah from K’riot, the one who was about to betray him, said, “This perfume is worth a year’s wages! Why wasn’t it sold and the money given to the poor?” (John 12:3-5, CJB)
In John 12:3 we see Mary anointing Yeshua with a pint of expensive perfume called nard.
In John 12:4-5 we see Judas objecting to & questioning Mary’s extravagant worship. “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” The author shares Judas’ embezzlement as CFO in discipleship under Yeshua as his motive.
In Mark 14:4-5 it says that Mary’s critics were plural. Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor. And they rebuked her harshly” (NIV).
Wow. It appears that Judas’ criticism spread to other disciples.
Yeshua defends Mary. He tells Judas to leave her alone. He stops the slander, the destructive talk. He defines the purpose of her worship. He cites his burial. Yeshua calls attention to something more important than Mary, money, oil, or styles of worship. He calls attention to the focus of the worship - himself - and his burial which was directly connected to his gift of salvation to the world.
Yeshua quoted Deuteronomy 15:11. In the law, God tells the Jewish people that the poor would always be among them and that they were to give to the poor. Yeshua knew the law and the importance of keeping that law, but in this case, there was a higher calling, and it was himself because he was serving God’s purpose.
Yeshua was teaching his disciples discernment, righteous wisdom, how to prioritize time with him, worship of him, over serving him and good works. Hmmm. That’s a familiar struggle.
A couple of points for us to take away:
First: flee critical judgment and slander. Each of us has the potential to worship God differently, obey God’s rules differently, interpret scripture differently, live our lives differently, and serve him differently. Never get caught up with slander. If you take issue with the way someone is living, speaking, acting, or serving, the best scenario is pray about it and see what God has to say. If you are led by the Lord to address it, then go directly to that sister/brother. But you should not be discussing it with each other.
Proverbs 25:23 says that a backbiting tongue brings an angry look, or another interpretation is an angry look stops a backbiting tongue. Both interpretations say we should be upset about slander. Do not tolerate it.
Proverbs 6:16-19 lists the six things that the Lord hates, and seven things that are detestable to him - read the list! Wow. It includes a person who starts conflict in the community. Christians want to stifle or disguise conflict in pseudo-prayer warfare, where they share their complaints about each other along with a prayer request tagline. The division grows under the guise of spirituality. Purge yourself. Run from this. Mature and honor God.
Maybe we should be asking ourselves why do I feel such inner conflict about what that person is doing? Or am I parroting someone else’s criticism? What is my true underlying concern? Maybe it’s something good. Maybe it’s not. Know yourself. Explore motives. Pray for the next step.
Second: I want to point out that here we see the disciples starting to repeat the same faults that the Jewish leaders had. They were judging people by their works. We also see them doing this in Mark 9. When the disciples were worked up about someone healing in the name of Yeshua and wanted to stop him, Yeshua said to leave him alone. So easy to look at Jewish leaders in the Bible and shake our heads in condemnation. But how are we doing the same things that they were guilty of? How are we judging our brothers and sisters in the faith as they pursue God, worship God, and obey God? And why? What if we took that to the Lord? Beware: when we criticize we are in danger of holy rebuke from God himself as seen in this passage.
“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves and be at peace with each other” (Mark 9:50, NIV). And in Romans 14:4, “…who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master servants stand or fall…”
Yeshua focused on the most important thing: Yeshua and God’s ultimate glorious plan. Yeshua didn’t take the time to point out Judas’ theft or twisted motives. Yeshua didn’t take the time to say: “Now Mary’s been criticized before about how she spent her time and now she’s being criticized about how she spends her money. Poor Mary. Let me tell you how far she’s come and why she does things differently than everyone else.”
He didn’t make the situation about Judas or about Mary. He focused on the most important thing. There will be distractions, there will be people who handle things wrongly as did Judas and the disciples. Or there will be Mary’s. People worship differently or just handle things differently, breaking the norm of our group dynamics or not fulfilling our expectations. But Yeshua doesn’t focus on individuals as much as he focuses on heart motive and the most important thing.
It’s easy for me to get distracted by incorrect details. Sometimes I hear things said that simply don’t align with the scripture. (Like in Scripture sin is red, not black, and the sabbath is on Saturday not Sunday.) However, my calling and your calling is to the greater, higher truth.
In prayerful consideration of every word we speak publicly and privately, let’s follow Yeshua’s example and keep the main thing the main thing. Yeshua, the scripture, the great commission of preaching the Gospel.
The bottom line: stop judging others, love the body of Christ, and let the visitors see a difference from the world.
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (CJB).
1 John 3:23: “This is his command: that we are to trust in the person and power of his Son Yeshua the Messiah and to keep loving one another, just as he commanded us” (CJB).
Salvation means
We are going to heaven
Submission means
Heaven comes to us
Love from my heart,
nanC
Nancy Cohen is the Director of Women's Ministries at Apple of His Eye
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