Forget About It

I have had the joy and privilege of speaking to women’s groups in different states and countries. I love it and do not take my responsibilities lightly. My daughter Toi and I have also done what we call tag-team talks. Those are my favorites. We share half a brain, so it is fun for one of us to jump in where the other leaves off, in sync, and never disjointed. Besides that, she is one of my top ten favorite people ever!

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Deut. 31:6, ESV)

It was while speaking at a conference on the east coast, that I became ever more aware of serious hypocrisy in the Christian community. Of course, we all know the church is made up of hypocrites. None of us are perfect. But this situation was/is tragic. Toi and I were speaking on forgiveness. It is a hard subject for us mortals, and a subject we should review mentally yearly (at least). I shared how my father was physically abusive and the fear of him that I carried during my life at home. I left home when I was 19 and never saw him again until I was 39. While praying for a Spirit-filled heart and life, the Lord would remind me of my relationship with my dad. It was then that I privately prayed and forgave him. My father did not ask me to forgive him. I did not write a list of grievances and then tell my father that I let them go. I just told my Heavenly Father that I forgave him and asked the Lord to renew my heart towards him. I was later able to see him that same year. I must admit, I was scared and still said yes sir, and no sir when answering him. But it was a good reunion that I am thankful I had done. Every situation is different.

Some people need to make verbal amends before they are forgiven. My father was not a practicing believer. He was not being spiritually fed, so it was on me to forgive whether he asked for it or not. Yeshua forgave the world before anyone ever asked for His forgiveness. He set the bar high, but necessary. After our talk, women were coming up to Toi and me either crying or inquisitive. I knew this was a needed subject, but I did not realize how much it was needed.

It was then, that a small group of women came to me with an incredible story that broke my heart. A spokesman for the group said this: “I was a lesbian for all my adult life. Then three years ago a woman shared with me the love of Jesus. I became a believer and began a Bible study with her, eventually moving into her home with her, her husband, and her family. They discipled me and poured the love of God into my heart and mind. As I read the Word, I realized I had to forsake my past life and live a life that pleased God. Now, she said, here is the situation. I have started a program for others like me. They are thriving and living a victorious life. Churches have asked me to speak and share my testimony, and I do. But even though they seem to rejoice in my story, I am continually rejected. People will not sit next to me; I am not allowed to work in my church nursery or teach a Sunday school class. It seems that God has forgiven me, but the church will not.

The ladies with her shared their own experiences of rejection and disdain from the church. Most were in tears. It was heartbreaking. Toi and I listened, prayed over them, and tried to help as best we could. My point? God says: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Deuteronomy 31:6. ESV No condemnation. No judgment. We Christians, seem to shoot our wounded. We take on the role of judge, jury, and executioner, and not that of a family welcoming a baby into our home. I have been on the side of that rejection. It is a hard place to be, and I can only imagine what a new believer must feel. One person told me “I am treated better in the world than by church members”. Wow. Shame on us.

No condemnation. That means – do not condemn someone for their past. It is that simple. The church has its own issues. We are to take the beam out of our own eye.

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matt. 7:5, ESV)

Then love. Just love. Pray for others. Pray for yourself and LOVE. Pray for grace. Hey, it is not easy. But then it was not easy for Yeshua to love so deeply and totally that he could die for those that beat him, spat on him, and hung him on a wooden stake. In a world where a 6-year-old and a 72-year-old are randomly killing; where Jews, Asians, Blacks, Hispanics, and gays (the list is endless) are being treated with contempt and hatred, we need to be the difference. Love like Yeshua. Love blindly. Love sincerely. Also, love the church.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34, NIV)

Love from my heart,


Nancy Cohen is the Director of Women's Ministries at Apple of His Eye

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
Download Our Latest Newsletter